Dame Joanna Lumley discusses maintaining ‘separate lives’ with her husband, Stephen Barlow, as they approach their 40th wedding anniversary.
Chance Meeting and Proposal
Joanna first met Stephen at a family friend’s wedding in the 1970s. He was in a tremendous rage because half the music he was supposed to play had not arrived. She describes the encounter as a colossal shock and completely memorable. Stephen proposed to her on the way to a production in the Lake District. The couple married in 1986 in Fort William, Scottish Highlands.
Key to a Lasting Marriage
Living separate lives has proven essential to their enduring relationship. Joanna pursues trips, filming, and other projects, while Stephen focuses on operas and performances. She emphasizes respect as fundamental: ‘One of the first things you’ve got to have for whoever you marry, who is going to be your chosen companion, is respect. You’ve got to think the world of them.’
Family and Shared Passions
Joanna has a son, Jamie, 57, from her previous relationship with photographer Michael Claydon. She loves music but admits she knew little about it before marrying the pianist. The couple resides in south London with a dedicated music room in their garden. Joanna frequently asks Stephen questions about music, admitting she remains an amateur despite her passion. She jokes about pestering him with queries while sitting in the bath at night as he reads in the bedroom.
Turning 80 and Reflections on Time
Joanna turns 80 next month and plans to celebrate with friends over supper. She reflects on life’s brevity: ‘My time must be coming quite soon, and I don’t want to have wasted a minute of being on this beautiful planet.’ She views the milestone with humor: ‘It’s extraordinary, isn’t it? I’ve been saying I’m 80 for the last two or three years because I thought I was, but I wasn’t. People are making a big hoo-ha about this 80, as if I’m somehow going to be different, as if some huge precipice is reached. I’ll be working on my birthday. I’m thrilled and I’m touched that people have remembered and think about it more than I do.’
Recent Home Intrusion Attempt
Recently, masked thieves targeted Joanna’s £2.5 million London home. Neighbor Emma Duncan recounts being woken in the middle of the night by a group on motorbikes surrounding the actress’s car, whose alarm blared. One man sat in the driver’s seat, yelling, ‘I can’t f****** start it,’ as the boot sustained damage. Joanna emerged in her dressing gown, prompting the gang to flee.
Illustrious Career
Joanna began as a model in the 1960s, later appearing in Coronation Street and The Satanic Rites of Dracula. She gained prominence as Purdey in The New Avengers and in Sapphire & Steel. From 1992, she portrayed Patsy Stone in Absolutely Fabulous alongside Jennifer Saunders, reprising the role in the 2016 film. Today, she co-hosts the podcast Joanna and the Maestro with her husband.
