Renowned poet, rapper, and multi-disciplinary artist Kae Tempest is speaking openly about the profound impact of gender affirmation on their creative life and personal well-being. For years, Tempest experienced debilitating panic attacks on stage, a stark contrast to the euphoric connection they once felt performing.

Art as a Shield and a Revelation

Kae Tempest, a celebrated figure in the arts with accolades including the Ted Hughes Award and multiple Mercury Prize nominations, initially used their prolific output as a means of coping. Tempest, now 41, reflects on a period where their work served as a refuge, allowing them to compartmentalize personal struggles.

“I think I was hiding in my work,” Tempest shared. “As long as my work was going all right, I could deal with the fact that when I was back from tour, I often would collapse and wouldn’t be able to move and would go into some kind of depression.”

This disconnect between their public persona and private reality began to manifest physically and mentally. “As long as it didn’t show up on the tour bus, or it didn’t show up when I was sitting at my desk with something to deliver, or as long as it didn’t come into the studio, I could kind of think that it was just normal,” they explained. “But finally, when it turned up at work, which for me is my reason for being, that’s when I realised that something was different because I was unable to function.”

Reclaiming the Stage and Voice

The experience of affirming their gender identity last year has dramatically shifted Tempest’s relationship with performing. The panic attacks that once plagued their stage presence have subsided, replaced by a renewed sense of joy and authenticity.

“When I was younger, [music] was always the place where I could flourish and thrive,” Tempest stated. “Being behind a mic on stage was the place where I kind of left everything behind and went to the divine – it was really the most euphoric, uplifting, connected place for me.”

“I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to feel like I’ve come back. I’ve been gifted a selfhood that I didn’t really have access to before. Or, like, it was there, but I couldn’t really reach him.”

This internal shift is palpable in their connection with audiences. “It’s so wonderful to go out on stage at the moment,” Tempest said. “I’m back in the room and I can use all of the things that I’ve learned over 20 years of being on stage.”

Navigating Vocal Changes

Tempest’s latest album, “Self Titled,” is a deeply personal exploration of their transition and a powerful statement of support for the trans and gender-diverse community. The album also marks a new chapter in vocal exploration, as Tempest learned to work with their voice’s evolving masculine register.

“It’s kind of like an instrument you’ve played before, but slightly new,” they described the experience. “I was working with my voice the way it was for a long time and there’s things about my voice post transition that I haven’t yet got my head around, but it’s exciting. It’s total joy. It feels great.”

Fear of vocal alteration was a significant barrier to transitioning earlier. “I used to think, ‘Oh, I’ll never be able to transition, I’ll never be able to do it,'” Tempest admitted. “Maybe when I’m out of the public eye, maybe when my career’s over… maybe when I’m 60 or something.” Reflecting on these past anxieties, Tempest expressed a sense of disbelief at their former fears.

“The panic and the fear and the idea of letting people down or being rejected or the violent fear of what would happen to my voice, all of that anxiety… And really what’s happened is I’ve just got new space to play and a better feeling in my being. My voice is an extension of my soul, so all round it feels good.”

Embracing Joy Amidst Adversity

Living and working in a climate of increasing anti-trans sentiment, Tempest consciously chooses to focus on trans joy rather than internalizing negativity.

“It’s just coming from a place of fear,” Tempest stated regarding transphobia. “So, I don’t really need to receive it in my heart.” Instead, they find profound meaning in shared human experience.

“How wonderful and beautiful that in all of the millions of years that life has existed on this planet – 300 million years — and somehow here we are in this moment,” Tempest mused. “I feel truly awe-struck at that fact every day and I get to share this moment with so many wonderful other people.”

Tempest also highlighted the unexpected positive ripple effect of their personal transition on others. “How incredible to have gone through something, which is so private and personal, that seems to have also like an outward ripple towards other people’s lives and understandings of their own trans siblings, kids, friends – that’s mainly the thing that touches my being.”

Deepened Self-Connection and Future Endeavors

Beyond their connection to the trans community, Tempest’s transition has fostered a deeper relationship with themselves. “I feel deep relief to be at this stage in my life where I can finally inhabit my body and have a bit more awareness of my reality,” they said. “There was a kind of numbness at the base level of [my pre-transition] life off stage. I think the biggest change has been that my real life has opened to me.”

Literary Pursuits and Musical Evolution

In addition to their current Australian tour, Tempest has completed their second novel, “Having Spent Life Seeking.” The novel features a gender-diverse protagonist and delves into themes of identity and the past.

Following the demanding process of writing the novel, Tempest looks forward to a period of rest after the “Self Titled” tour. “I’m looking forward to… refilling the reservoir a little bit before immediately trying to produce more,” they explained. “I just want to be thankful for what I have received so far in this really abundant couple of years of work.”

Tempest also revealed that a new musical project is already in development, a record that was nearly completed before “Self Titled” but felt incomplete at the time.

Collaborating with producer Fraser T. Smith, Tempest received feedback that the songs were strong but not yet the right fit for release. “He just said, ‘The songs are great, but it’s just not right for right now,'” Tempest recalled. “I know [the record] will find its way into the light at some stage.” Tempest humorously noted that the record might also undergo its own transformation, as demos were recorded during their vocal changes, capturing the subtle thickening of their vocal cords.

Kae Tempest’s Australian tour commences in Perth on Thursday, with subsequent performances scheduled in Melbourne, Brisbane, and Sydney. The album “Self Titled” is available now.