A Black, non-binary father has shared his journey of moving from the city to a small market town, challenging his own preconceptions about rural living for LGBTQ+ individuals and people of color. Nic Crosara, who identifies as Black and non-binary, along with his partner, relocated from Bath to Frome, Somerset, at the beginning of 2025. This move defied the common trend of queer individuals and people of color seeking community and belonging in larger urban centers.

Challenging Preconceptions About Rural Living

Crosara admitted to initial nervousness about the move, acknowledging the current climate for transgender individuals in the UK and the perceived risk of leaving a familiar environment. However, the decision was driven by a desire for a better quality of life for his family. His experiences growing up, particularly in Cornwall, had left him feeling alienated. He recalled being told he was the first Black person some peers had ever met, leading to uncomfortable interactions. Racist jokes from locals near his childhood home also contributed to a feeling of suffocation.

Seeking a change, his family moved to Bath when he was 19. He described feeling an immediate sense of relief, no longer feeling conspicuous due to his skin color and finding it easier to connect with the LGBTQ+ community. Later, a brief stint in a Cambridgeshire village during the pandemic offered a less positive introduction to small-town life, reinforcing his belief that he wouldn’t move to the countryside again.

The Shift to Parenthood and City Challenges

The catalyst for reconsidering rural living was becoming a father. Crosara and his partner had planned for a family, but the reality of city life with a newborn presented unexpected difficulties. The inconveniences of city living, such as overflowing bins making pathways inaccessible for strollers and loud late-night parties disturbing their baby, became significant stressors. These everyday urban challenges, which he had previously tolerated, now felt intolerable.

Beyond the daily annoyances, the escalating cost of living in Bath was a major concern. Soaring rent, food, and utility prices, coupled with living in a small one-bedroom flat with persistent black mold, made affording adequate space for their growing family seem impossible. The financial strain and lack of space prompted the couple to seek a more sustainable and spacious environment.

Discovering Community and Affirmation in Frome

The move to Frome proved to be a transformative experience. Crosara highlighted the immediate impact of the natural environment, waking up to the sound of birdsong and enjoying the quiet that allowed them to sleep with windows open. The sense of community was also strikingly different. Unlike in Bath, where he barely knew his neighbors, in Frome, they were welcomed with flowers and cards. Neighbors have been friendly, even sharing produce from their gardens.

Despite his initial fears about potential discrimination in a more remote area, Crosara found that his concerns about rural life were unfounded. He discovered that affirming haircuts, previously a city-centric expectation, were accessible in Frome. More importantly, he found a sense of community and joy he hadn’t anticipated. While busy working parents have limited social time, they feel connected to their neighbors from diverse backgrounds. They were also pleasantly surprised to encounter other LGBTQ+ parents and queer individuals around their age.

The Benefits of Rural Life for a Diverse Family

The move has brought significant benefits, including the ability to afford a house with a garden, allowing them to grow their own food. Crosara feels his life is now richer and more fulfilling. He is proud to have had his preconceived notions about rural living disproven, realizing that it is possible to be Black, Brown, transgender, or queer and thrive outside of major cities.

His experience underscores a broader narrative of hope and resilience within the LGBTQ+ community, demonstrating that belonging and a high quality of life can be found in unexpected places. The journey from the city to Frome has not only provided a better environment for his child but has also fostered a profound sense of belonging and happiness for Crosara and his family.